It has been a vintage year for television so far. So, which scenes, shows and celebs came out top?

The years of therapy scary sex award

Winner: American Gods
Amazons crimson fantasy announced its WTF credentials in an early scene where a paunchy duffer (Joel Murray Bills brother!) cant believe his luck: hes making love to a smoking hot, younger woman (Yetide Badaki). But shes actually Bilquis, the immortal Queen of Sheba and, as the ageing geezer pops, hes consumed whole by the goddesss hungry magic vagina, never to be seen again giving a new meaning to the phrase putting the old chap in.

Most surreal cock-up

BBCs
Breaking news … the BBCs Huw Edwards is caught out by a technical glitch. Photograph: BBC News

Winner: Huw Edwards, BBC News
Thanks to a system malfunction, viewers tuning in for the start of the Beebs 10 oclock news on 20 June got a disorientating experimental montage instead. The Breaking News ident. Huw Edwards sitting silently. A photo of four bankers. Huw Edwards sitting silently. A snatch of music. Huw Edwards sitting silently. The ghostly face of Philip Hammond. Huw Edwards, sitting silently. David Lynch narrowly failed to do something weirder with
episode eight of the new Twin Peaks.

Most false dinner-party binge claims

OJ
Long player … OJ Simpson in OJ: Made in America. Photograph: ESPN

Winner: OJ: Made in America
Yah, you have to watch it. Weve done all of it. Yes, all seven hours. We set aside a whole week. Its not just about the OJ Simpson murder trial; its a profound and devastating treatise on race, class and the media that tells us as much about America now as it does the 90s. Yes, we saw all five episodes. No, we didnt abandon it halfway through the first one, which was mostly about American football, and whack
Love Island on instead. Oh, youve not seen it? You really must. Mmm.

Sickest bastards

Steve
To the power of sick … Steve Pemberton as Professor Squires in Inside No 9. Photograph: Sophie Mutevelian/BBC

Winners: Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith
Forget the cry-laugh:
Inside No 9s creators perfected the vomit-laugh with an emetic twist in the season three episode The Riddle of the Sphinx. Pembertons Cambridge don, after some already-nasty japes where a colleague (Shearsmith) forces him to eat flesh cut from the buttock of a just-murdered student (Alexandra Roach), is told that he is, in fact, her father. Hes chewing his dead daughters arse! Steve, Reece, get help. No, wait: finish season four. Then get help.

The five hours of our life wed most like back

Sam
Bore war … Sam Riley in SS-GB. Photograph: Sid Gentle Films

Winner: SS-GB
In 2017, we dont need much persuading to ride with a Nazi-punching thriller about Brits not tolerating totalitarianism. BBC1s dramatisation of Len Deightons
alternate-1940s novel had a promising opener and for those who hung in a half-decent finale, but mostly it inched agonisingly forward as if it was afraid a bomb might go off, or Hitler had instructed his men to peacefully bore us into surrender. SS-GB pioneered a new genre: the low-stakes war drama.

Juiciest self-parody

Tom
No Mirage … Tom Hardy prefers Taboo. Photograph: FX Networks/Robert Viglasky

Winner: Tom Hardy, Taboo
If there is a peculiar satisfaction in actors pushing their screen personae to the extreme, Tom Hardys turn in BBC1s grit-flecked period vengeance drama
Taboo co-creator, T Hardy was a full-fat treat. Enigmatic and brooding to the point where he often just stared at people because words themselves were too scared to be in his mouth, Hardy was a glorious cartoon of grunts, whispers and intimidating noises. Sample line of frightening dialogue: Hh. Nggggg.

Worst losing of the news

Jon
Fake news … Jon Snow gets the wrong man. Photograph: David Levene for the Guardian

Winner: Channel 4 News
In March, a Channel 4 scoop on the story of the year at that point the Westminster terror attack collapsed while the show was still on air. The channel had won the race to identify the attacker, only for the named guy to pipe up with a solid alibi: he was in jail. As
Jon Snow read out a grovelling U-turn, other newshounds trapped in the mad breaking-news cycle sighed with relief that it hadnt happened to them.

Filthiest kitchen porn

Reese
Kitchens of distinction … Reese Witherspoon in Big Little Lies. Photograph: HBO

Winner: Big Little Lies
Ultimately,
HBOs drama might have been about the hidden pain of the parents in super-flash Monterey, California but oh, get those kitchens. Reese Witherspoon and family, trading brittle barbs across a black-marble island countertop bigger than some London flats; Nicole Kidman blankly loudhailering her kids from the other end of a kitchen-diner where the table and the hob are 25 yards apart this was TVs first drama to be set entirely inside an aspirational Pinterest board.

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